hi im back, i found that i have been rather active thesedays on my blog. anyhowz im back to the emo mode again. hormonal changes? perhaps. one problem solved another evolved... argh... im starting to wonder if I am the one having problem instead.
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i placed alot of reliance on friends once i think that he/she is my friend. jus to add, friend to me meant alot, it doesnt mean passer-by. but someone whom i can really relate to, at times of more importance than my family. hence, i don deny im pretty possessive over friends.
lotaz incidents occurred recently, and well i had been played out over and over again, till im really upset and disappointed. jus, i was thinking about what another wise friend of mine said.
it is never wise to place hope or even see friendship as that important, you never know if one day he/she will leave. pretty true eh? was talking to jolene on the phone a while ago. i guess she must think im nuts haha. well jolene, soon soon. visit me in IMH.
anyhowz, was disappointed again. as in perhaps to me she is someone really of importance, but to her, im pretty elastic and substituble? haha. well, there's this word, which i have forgotten, it meant when u have a new found friend, u literally forget the other. or the other had literally been demoted from a 'friend' to a 'replacement-in-need'.
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sigh... or maybe the problem lies in me? i should just live my own live in isolation? that's somethin i learnt today. the more u had on someone, the deeper is the cut. seriously, i think friendship is harder to maintain than relationships. whoops. i sounded like a lesbian. lol.
anyways, yup thats what i think. from this moment onwards...
I'M NOT GOING TO DEPEND OR HAVE RELIANCE ON FRIENDS.
i mean it.
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and one more stupid thing happened today. i mean yesterday. i cried upon hearing cries of babies at Mount Elizabeth. was visiting a new born of my uncle, a little princess, and i donno why. upon hearing cries of babies, i literally broke down. that turmoil of emotions in me, i wonder if its fear, tears of happiness or what. but i broke down.
and i felt like an asshole. i donno why had i broken down. shit eh? on this joyous moment, i ALMOST spoilt it.
sigh... nonetheless all went well. i was touched when i saw my grandma carry our new member of the family. cause i thought she would be disappointed having a baby girl instead of a boy. u know the old ppl's mentality... carrying the line of the family that kinda rubbish. haha.
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yea. generally thats about my day. nuts eh? haha. lemme share this vid with u, though a little outta place lar.
from FF X, tidus and yuna, i thought it was sweet and romantic. and i love it.
just wondered how could they have kissed so long underwater. wont they jus go breatheless having to kiss and to breathe underwater. amazing. haha. nonsense!
ok here's another one, from FF x as well, but this is the orchestral version of the song. love it. was playing it vigourously recently. enjoy.